Join me on a heartfelt journey through breast cancer while raising children. From COVID to Cancer: Parenting Children with Learning Differences

Join me on a heartfelt journey through breast cancer while raising children with learning differences, including dyslexia, SLD, and ADHD.

From COVID to Cancer: Parenting

Children with Learning Differences Through My Breast Cancer Journey

Life can be unpredictable. One moment, you're navigating the chaos of work, school drop-offs, tutoring, and occupational therapy appointments, and the next, you're facing a diagnosis that changes everything. Just as the world was finding its feet again after the chaos of COVID-19, life hit me with an unanticipated curveball.

This is my story of balancing motherhood with neurodivergent children, a global pandemic, and a personal health crisis.

The First Signs: Navigating Learning Differences in My Two Sons

Before breast cancer appeared in my life, I was already navigating my younger child's diagnosis of dyslexia, dyspraxia, and dysgraphia coupled with attention issues.

During the pandemic, I also began to uncover learning differences with my older child. He was diagnosed with Specific Learning Disability (SLD) and Inattentive ADHD. Parenting one child with learning differences is a constant exercise in patience, creativity, resilience, and time management.  Dealing with two, was not easy.

Every single day was filled with challenges. Sometimes, it was helping my younger child with schoolwork while teaching my older son to advocate for himself in a system that didn't fully understand his needs.

Meanwhile,  my younger son attended a specialized language-based school with a heavy price tag creating an additional strain.

Before COVID, I was deeply involved in my sons' schools, serving as a parent ambassador, leading community service efforts, acting as room mom, and chairing book fairs.

At the same time, I advocated for my younger son, speaking on various platforms about learning differences and advising on strategies to support children like him. My focus was always on balancing his emotional well-being with his academic challenges. I felt he was thriving, thanks to early intervention and his language-based school.

Unfortunately, as I began my chemotherapy journey, he would be faced with additional challenges and demands by his school. While it wasn't easy, we started to find a rhythm where both my boys could thrive post Covid quarantine despite their challenges.

However, just when I thought we were gaining our footing, another storm was on the brink.

A Portal Notification to Get a Diagnostic Mammogram

I received a portal notification for a diagnostic mammogram.  My routine mammogram showed shadows. I didn’t really stress, assuming it was simply an error. Maybe it was too close to my cycle or perhaps I didn’t hold my breath. I thought it was something minor. I had to catch up on my annual screenings. Due  to COVID-19 life was behind.

A month later, I made a follow-up appointment at the hospital. After the mammogram, the doctor needed to speak with me, and I suddenly developed cold feet. Upon seeing my doctor, he told me about the lump that he had discovered. Disappointed, I sat with the nurse, discussing my family history, realizing the next steps wouldn't be easy. Nonetheless, I scheduled a biopsy and continued with my day.

When the call came the next day offering an earlier biopsy, I declined, as we were heading out of town for spring break. I knew my life was about to change but, I  didn't know how.

After the biopsy, I was told my gynecologist would call me with the results on the following Monday. However, the results came in on Friday through the portal, and I saw the word "cancerous." Looking back, I immediately began searching for the stage, which wasn't the correct process. I contacted doctors I personally knew for clarification, but was advised to wait for my doctor.

I continued my weekend plans, attending a Mother's Tea and hosting a school event. When Monday came and passed without a call, I panicked.

The next day, I reached out to my primary care doctor, who immediately gave me a list of breast cancer specialists. I had no idea, I knew one of them already. The reality hit me hard. I had always been diligent about my health, but the whirlwind had begun.

Following my doctor's advice, I quickly contacted the specialists and got an appointment. Everything started to move fast.

Facing the Diagnosis: The "Greek" of Medical Terms

I visited the first specialist, and she explained the situation. Honestly, everything she said sounded like Greek to me.

As I exited, that doctor’s office, the breast care specialist I knew personally called me and said, "I got your message. I see you are on my books, but I will see you the day after tomorrow." The words swirled around—tumors, treatment options, cancer types—and it felt surreal.

Before I could even process it, my breast care specialist called me and said, "We're moving you to my care".

She immediately began speaking to me about my options and had my MRI scheduled.

The MRI: An Unexpected Painful Step in the Process

Before the surgery, I had to get an MRI, which involved an injection of dye. I hadn't anticipated the dye having a burning sensation.

I remained grateful, realizing how lucky I was to have been seen and diagnosed quickly, especially during the post COVID Era when healthcare was stretched thin.

At this point, I hadn't shared much with my children. My older son had a school dance, so while preparing for my appointment, I also organized his suit and corsage. Telling my sons about my cancer was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do and I wasn't ready.

Our former nanny had breast cancer, so when I eventually told my younger son, his response was almost matter-of-fact. "So yours isn't as severe, right? They'll scoop it out, and you'll be fine?" he said. I nodded, smiling through my fear, trying to reassure him and myself. "Yes, that's right. We'll scoop it out, and everything will be okay”.

Preparing for the Mastectomy: Life's Little Hiccups

The morning of my mastectomy was like any other hectic family morning. I notified both of my children's schools of what was occurring. By the way, this was five days before my older son's 16th birthday which added stress!

It was as if life refused to slow down, even when everything seemed to be crashing down. My aunt came into town to assist in my recovery. I made arrangements for the children with multiple drop off’s and pick ups.

The day of surgery came, and it was a whirlwind. My husband, my aunt and I drove to the hospital. My aunt asked the surgeon all the essential questions that I couldn't even think of.

After the surgery, I was groggy and sick from the anesthesia.

The recovery was tough—waking up nauseous, dealing with tubes, and sleeping upright due to the post-operation discomfort. My body had gone through so much in such a short amount of time. But with the support of my family, friends, and neighbors, I began to heal.

The Pathology Report: A New Layer to the Journey

Just as I was beginning to wrap my head around the idea of recovery, my doctor called with the pathology report. I had HER 2 + cancer, which is more aggressive. Out of the tissues they removed, three lymph nodes tested positive for cancer. This meant chemotherapy, something I had hoped to avoid, was in my future.

Chemotherapy, often referred to as "chemo," is a type of cancer treatment that uses powerful drugs to destroy or slow the growth of cancer cells. Since cancer cells grow and divide rapidly, chemotherapy targets these fast-growing cells. However, it can also affect healthy cells that divide quickly, such as those in the hair, skin, and digestive system, which is why chemotherapy often comes with side effects. Hearing the word "chemo" felt like another blow, but I knew I had to keep going—for myself and my family!!!

The Balance and My Greatest Blessings

While I was navigating this new cancer journey, I still had to be a mother.

My children's Dyslexia, SLD, and ADHD were ongoing challenges that required patience, attention, and advocacy.

Between doctor's appointments and chemo treatments, I was attending school meetings and working with my children's teachers to ensure they got the support they needed. Parenting is challenging on its own, but parenting while battling breast cancer felt like an uphill climb in the rain.

One of the biggest blessings during this time was the community that rallied around me. My friends organized meals, my family and friends took care of my kids, and even took them on vacations with them when we couldn't. My medical team was nothing short of incredible. Knowing that people were there to help my family made a difference.

Cancer can flip your world upside down, but like everything else, you find a way to adjust. I created a new schedule, planned for the days when treatment would leave me too tired to move, and ensured there was always a plan for my kids to get from school to activities.

It reminded me of the early days of COVID-19, when everything was uncertain, and you had to take it day by day. Only this time, it wasn't just about a virus; it was about my life.

My Advice to People with Similar Challenges

When faced with the overwhelming challenges of managing your health, it's easy to feel like you're drowning.

Here’s my advice (from my experience) to help you stay afloat and find strength in the storm:

● Prioritize Self-Care

Putting yourself last is tempting, especially when juggling your health and caring for others.

But self-care isn't selfish—it's necessary. Whether it's a few minutes of mindfulness, a quiet walk, or simply asking for help, prioritize your well-being.

● Lean on Your Support System

You don't have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups.

People want to help, so accept it. Allow them to assist you with meals, childcare, or emotional support.

● Be Your Advocate

In both medical and educational settings, you are your best advocate.

Do your research, ask questions, and don't be afraid to seek second opinions or push for what you or your children need. Your voice matters.

● Allow Yourself to Feel

This journey will bring a whirlwind of emotions—fear, anger, sadness, and even moments of joy.

Let yourself experience those feelings without guilt. You're allowed to grieve, to be frustrated, and to have hard days.

● Stay Present

Focusing on the unknown can be paralyzing. Instead, take it one step at a time.

Deal with today before worrying about tomorrow. Celebrate small victories, and give yourself grace on the more challenging days.

● Find Your Community

Whether it's through friends, social media, local support groups, or even therapy, connect with others who understand your experience. I was fortunate to have friends and family who had experienced breast cancer and chemotherapy. I call them my guides.

Sometimes, the most incredible comfort is knowing you're not alone!!

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey with Strength and Resilience

Looking back on my journey from COVID-19 to cancer, I realize just how much life can throw at you. However, I've also seen how much strength we all possess.

The weight of combating breast cancer while dealing with children’s learning disabilities like dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia, SLD, and ADHD, daunting on their own, can feel unbearable.

Yet somehow, through the chaos of school drop offs, doctor's appointments, and emotional conversations, you’ll find your strength.

This journey has taught me the importance of leaning on others and asking for help when needed. I've been blessed with an incredible support system of friends, family, and medical professionals who have made this overwhelming time more manageable.

Most importantly, I trust God, I've learned that resilience doesn't mean always being strong!